Chuck Tanner: Which base were you throwing to?

Dale Berra:  Seventh?

Tanner:  He’s done.  Hey, Murray!  Get him out of here.  Who we got?

Berra: Sixth?

Murray (Bench Coach):  Ahh, Chuck the best we can do is bring in Belliard… and he is currently getting a… well a “massage” in the locker room.

Tanner: Christ on a cracker… What is Milner doing?

Murray:  He just tore up his jersey looking for his "secret pocket" and is sweating buckets.  We can’t send him out there.

/Berra calls over the Pirate Parrot waving a couple 20s.

Tanner:  What the hell are you doing?

Berra:  Just trying to get a bump, coach.

Tanner:  Get on the bump?  We got Rod Scurry out there.  The man just wants to throw gas today.  Hey Rod!  How about an off speed pitch here or there buddy?

Scurry:  Coach… I’m pretty sure that today I can both pitch and catch.  I can catch my own pitches.  This means you can use four guys in the outfield and seven on the infield.

Tanner:  What the… Will you just throw the damn ball?

/John Milner runs out of the dugout.

Milner:  Hey Lee!  You got any more suga’?  I got the itching again.  You owe me after I let you go back door on my old lady last night!  Don’t even pretend I don’t know!  You got to pay to ride that train!

Lee Mazzilli:  I don’t owe you shit.  I dropped an eight ball in your lap on the bus ride yesterday.  What the hell are you doing looking for more?  Besides it was Lee Lacy with your woman last night?

Lee Lacy:  Wrong.  I was busy cutting my new batch with some rosin all night?   I’m pretty sure it was Lee Tunnell.

Tanner:  Milner, get the hell off the field.  How many guys named Lee do we have on this team? 

Ump:  Hey coach… what you got going on here?  You going to make a change?

/Dave Parker walks over and lights up a J

Parker:  Hey Ump… it’s all cool.  Don’t be harshin’ the mellow around here.  We just got to get a rotation going.  Puff, Puff, Give.  Al’right?

/Ump rings Parker up

Ump:  You’re out of here! 

Parker:  Whoa… You got an issue my man?

Ump:  Chuck you better get a hold of your crew or this game is over!

Tanner:  You got your own problems Ump.  The batter looks like he is scooping up all the chalk from the batter's box.

Tim Raines:  Hey Ump, can I use your little brush?  If this game is over then I am taking all THIS back to the hotel… because when it Raines, IT POURS BABY!!!

Dock Ellis:  What about me?

Parker:  Common misconception.  You were off the team after the ‘75 season.  Sorry old buddy but we don’t need you in this bit.

Berra:  Right field?

Tanner:  What are you blabbering about Berra?

Berra:  Where the ball should go…

Tanner:  Right… Damn… now Berra just pretend like the ball is… ah…forget about it.  Get me a beer.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat