DSB decided to sit down again with local minor league baseball sensation and major league tool Bryce Harper to discuss how his Christmas weekend went and to see what he plans to do in the new year.

DSB: So how was your Christmas?

BH:  Well Bro, I have to say it was pretty f-ing sweet.  I went to church with my ‘rents and praised the baby Jesus for making my life so fuckin’ awesome.  I like to thank The Chosen One 1.0 for making me The Chosen One 2.OH NO!  I need to be humble about my talents and life during this time so I only took the diamond white Range Rover to church but honeys still be flockin’.

DSB:  Did you get any nice gifts?

BH:  Yeah, Bro… I got a chocolate lab that I named Swag.  He has the B-Harps demeanor down.  He is good looking and knows it and the ladies love his style.  Although I still have better hair.

DSB:  Give any nice gifts?

BH:  Bro… I used my Savannah’s on Hanna gold membership to make it rain in the club on Christmas Eve.  Nothing like a stripper in a Santa suit string bikini to make you feel the holiday spirit.

/winks

DSB:  Any plans for the New Year?

BH:  Yo Bro we plan on taking the Bryce Brand to new heights.  Scotty B. (Boras) and I are going to be dropping a 10 foot tall bottle of Moose Knuckle Juice at midnight in a Miami club called the Meat Pit.  It is going to be a crazy party with models and shit.

DSB:  Can we get and invite?

BH:  Are you a model, Bro?

DSB:  No…

BH:  Then sorry B… got to keep the honeys in the proper ratio.  How about I hook you up with a Bryce Brand original Double Deep V T-shirt?  These bad boys retail for $250 in the Kardashian boutique Dash.  I would autograph it for ya but I don’t need this ending up on eBay, bro.

DSB:  This T-shirt smells like diesel fuel…

BH:  Yo, that be my new fragrance The Chosen Smell.  Scotty B said that every major player in the game has to have a smell.  I helped formulate it and everything.  Here is the breakdown:  pine tar, the essence of Moose Knuckle Juice, artificial tanning solution, rubbing alcohol, pine tree car air freshener, hair gel, baseball glove leather oil, some of my own sweat, and vinegar and water.

DSB:  It is quite the powerful odor… it burns the nostrils.

BH:  It comes packaged in a two liter sized glass fist with a hand pump.

DSB: I am pretty sure that I used something similar this summer to spray pesticide.  Any baseball related goals for 2012?

BH: Bro… I have been working on my homerun celebration handshakes all winter.  When I go deep the dugout is going to see some sweet high fives this year.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…