Russell Brand was arrested for assaulting a Rafterman-like photographer who was allegedly just following orders to get some "good low-angle stuff" and to "not make it too obvious, but I want to see fur and early morning dew." Brand’s attack on the would be Full Metal Jacket photographer has lead to felony assault charges that place Mr. Katy Perry’s US visa at risk. DSB is looking forward to his forthcoming exile from this country and send condolences to his future homeland.

Blackmail is More Fun When You See it on TV



Former Mel Gibson punching bag girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva decided this morning was the time to take on the PR backlash following the release of multiple tapes, emails and letters between her and Gibson. Oksana’s lawyer Daniel Horowitz went on Today and was grilled interviewed provided a soap box by Meredith Vieira in which he said the following (with our comments in italics):

"Oksana did not release or sell the audio tapes." Yeah right, no one believes this.

"Oksana did not release or sell the emails or letters, but they know who did." So do we… it was Oksana.

"Oksana is broke." hat is why she sold the tapes.

"The tapes would be worth at least a million dollars." Only as blackmail. Street value is actually only 5 bucks.

"Oksana never asked for money in exchange for not releasing the tapes." I guess he forget the part where he just said that they are worth at least a million dollars. They are only worth that to one man. Mel Gibson. This is like watching a shakedown on live TV.

Don’t Call Her a 49er Just Because She’s A Gold Digger



Jersey Shore’s Snooki appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman last night. When asked about her relationship status, Snooki said that she was single and "cannot find that perfect gorilla juicehead…so now I'm thinking more to go to a business guy or Wall Street or something, change it up a little bit. Why not?" Translation: I can’t find the perfect man at the beach or in the club so I am officially starting my gold digging phase. Any takers?

Career: Professional Druggie



Lindsay Lohan has been told by friends and advisors to put her career on hold for the next nine to twelve months so that she can get control of her disease. She has been advised that she should not expect to film any movies for the next year and should focus on getting her addiction under control. Apparently no one close to Lindsay has figured out that currently her addiction is her career and that if she would stop being a train wreck she could just pick up where Mean Girls left off.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…