Preparation - Just like basketball, you have to be prepared for the unexpected. You never know when a batshit crazy woman wearing a miniskirt will approach you and start fondling your Power Forward under the table.

Teammates - Surround yourself with friends who will do everything they can to help you get laid no matter where you are. I'm talking about friends who will sit idly by while you have sex 15 feet away from them. I'm talking about friends who will let you use their restaurant like a highway rest stop as long as you lock up afterwards. I'm talking about friends who will handle the payments for automobiles and abortions if your skank pickup is "very fertile".

"Be quick, but don't hurry" - I don't think Coach Wooden was talking about getting his rocks off in public, but the quote is apropos. The sooner you're done the less chance you have of getting caught. Did she climax yet? Who cares? Get in, get off, and get out. When the situation calls for it, I can reach 0 to 60 in 15 seconds. Sure, some ladies may feel unsatisfied with a mere 15 seconds of heaven, but there's only so much Rick to go around.

Finish Strong - Lastly, you need to have a cleanup strategy. If you were smart and brought a condom, this will be a no-brainer. Otherwise, my tried and true method is to pull out and ejaculate down my leg. I know it's not the prettiest picture in the world, but it gets the job done.