The Jerk Store: Jeopardy!
The long-running game show, Jeopardy!, could be ridiculed for many different reasons. Some of these include:
Do not confuse this week's show with the ones featuring pimply-faced virgins sporting their dorky college sweatshirt...that's the College Tournament. This is something completely different. This is a whole set of shows for kids specifically between the ages of 10 and 12 years old. When I was 12, I don't think I could have told you little more than Don Mattingly's batting average and the best method to make the most realistic fart noises. Instead, the viewing public is treated to contestants that can best be described as the rejects from the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
Don't these twitching, little freaks already have their own game shows on Nickeloden or Discovery for Kids? Aren't they better suited to shows that don't require any thinking like Wheel of Fortune or Minute to Win It? The show has had to dumb down the questions (or answers) so much that my slow cousin who rode the short bus could get most of these. Here are some of the "challenging" questions from a recent show:
And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Trebek and his smugness show up. It's one thing when he acts like a Mr. Know-it-All to a bunch of 40-year old bookworms and fanboys after a wrong answer, but when he does it to a bunch of snot-nosed bedwetters it just rubs me the wrong way.
From now on, the only correct question is "What is the Jerk Store?"
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...
- That ridiculous two-minute break in the middle of a game to discuss Claude from Peoria's potato chip collection
- After years of reading the answers off of cards and teleprompters, host Alex Trebek thinks and acts like he's suddenly become the President of MENSA
- Apparently Jay Leno's rejected comedy writers are sent to Jeopardy to come up with the category names as bad puns are the norm. "Shamanism on You" and "Going to the Loo-vre" are prime examples of this. I am honestly waiting for "The Rapists" or "Anal Bum Cover" to show up soon.
Do not confuse this week's show with the ones featuring pimply-faced virgins sporting their dorky college sweatshirt...that's the College Tournament. This is something completely different. This is a whole set of shows for kids specifically between the ages of 10 and 12 years old. When I was 12, I don't think I could have told you little more than Don Mattingly's batting average and the best method to make the most realistic fart noises. Instead, the viewing public is treated to contestants that can best be described as the rejects from the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
Don't these twitching, little freaks already have their own game shows on Nickeloden or Discovery for Kids? Aren't they better suited to shows that don't require any thinking like Wheel of Fortune or Minute to Win It? The show has had to dumb down the questions (or answers) so much that my slow cousin who rode the short bus could get most of these. Here are some of the "challenging" questions from a recent show:
Animated Films: 2005: 4 animals from the New York City zoo end up on an African islandC'mon...even Corky, Gilbert Grape and Warren (from There's Something About Mary) would know the answer to that last one.
People from Pennsylvania: Not Willy Wonka but this man built a chocolate factory in the Pennsylvania town that was renamed for him
7-Letter Words: Get your head out of the sand! Struthio camelus is this large, swift-footed flightless bird
Holidays & Observances: On this holiday, people once placed bowls of food outside their homes to appease ghosts
And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Trebek and his smugness show up. It's one thing when he acts like a Mr. Know-it-All to a bunch of 40-year old bookworms and fanboys after a wrong answer, but when he does it to a bunch of snot-nosed bedwetters it just rubs me the wrong way.
From now on, the only correct question is "What is the Jerk Store?"
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...
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