Someone at CNN Needs to Take My Phone Calls
Last week, Larry King announced he was ending his long-running CNN talk show, "Larry King Live", sometime this fall. According to reports, the frontrunners to take over the position and timeslot are Piers Morgan or Joy Behar. And here I thought CNN wanted people to watch the show. What target audience are either of these two bringing to the table? If CNN was intent on trying anything to garner better ratings and more viewers, why wouldn't they bring someone on board who would at least generate interest in the dying show on a daily basis?
I'll be honest, I can't tell you the last time I even watched one minute of the show. But I thought long and hard (that's right, baby) about who I would want to see take over King's seat. I kept coming back to one name again and again.
CNN Announcer: Welcome back to the mystical, magical world of "Gary Busey Live"
Gary Busey: You know what 'FEAR' stands for? It stands for 'False Evidence Appearing Real.' It's the darkroom where Satan develops his negatives. And that brings us to our first guest tonight...the Prince of Darkness himself. Satan...How's life treating you?
Satan: Well actually, Gary, it's the after-life.
Gary Busey: Ok...how's the after-life treating you?
Satan: Just SUPER...thanks for asking
Gary Busey: Some in my audience may wonder why I agreed to this interview. It's good for everyone to understand that they are to love their enemies, simply because your enemies show you things about yourself you need to change. So in actuality enemies are friends in reverse.
Satan: Even that makes no sense to me
Gary Busey: Great things like this only happen for the first time once. So I need to ask you if you enjoy some of my old favorites...
Satan: Fire away
Gary Busey: The booze, the liquor, the devil's juice?
Satan: I enjoy a nip every now and again. But I want to clarify a point for your viewers...it's not actually my juice. I save that for both Hitler and Anna Nicole Smith, if you catch my drift.
Gary Busey: I do...I do. Like a virgin on prom night. What about marijuana, cocaine, and heroin?
Satan: Yes, yes, and yes. I'll tell you Gary the best high I ever got was when I smoked a bowl of Keith Richard's ashes through my homemade bong made from Ozzy Osbourne's skull.
Gary Busey: But neither of them are dead yet?
Satan: Keep telling yourself that
Gary Busey: You know what 'SOBER' stands for? It stands for 'Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real!'
Let's take some phone calls. Paul from Cucamonga you're on the air...
I'll be honest, I can't tell you the last time I even watched one minute of the show. But I thought long and hard (that's right, baby) about who I would want to see take over King's seat. I kept coming back to one name again and again.
CNN Announcer: Welcome back to the mystical, magical world of "Gary Busey Live"
Gary Busey: You know what 'FEAR' stands for? It stands for 'False Evidence Appearing Real.' It's the darkroom where Satan develops his negatives. And that brings us to our first guest tonight...the Prince of Darkness himself. Satan...How's life treating you?
Satan: Well actually, Gary, it's the after-life.
Gary Busey: Ok...how's the after-life treating you?
Satan: Just SUPER...thanks for asking
Gary Busey: Some in my audience may wonder why I agreed to this interview. It's good for everyone to understand that they are to love their enemies, simply because your enemies show you things about yourself you need to change. So in actuality enemies are friends in reverse.
Satan: Even that makes no sense to me
Gary Busey: Great things like this only happen for the first time once. So I need to ask you if you enjoy some of my old favorites...
Satan: Fire away
Gary Busey: The booze, the liquor, the devil's juice?
Satan: I enjoy a nip every now and again. But I want to clarify a point for your viewers...it's not actually my juice. I save that for both Hitler and Anna Nicole Smith, if you catch my drift.
Gary Busey: I do...I do. Like a virgin on prom night. What about marijuana, cocaine, and heroin?
Satan: Yes, yes, and yes. I'll tell you Gary the best high I ever got was when I smoked a bowl of Keith Richard's ashes through my homemade bong made from Ozzy Osbourne's skull.
Gary Busey: But neither of them are dead yet?
Satan: Keep telling yourself that
Gary Busey: You know what 'SOBER' stands for? It stands for 'Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real!'
Let's take some phone calls. Paul from Cucamonga you're on the air...
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Posted by Max Power at 7/6/2010 9:00 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Gary Busey Larry King Larry King Live CNN Satan
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Gary Busey Larry King Larry King Live CNN Satan
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