The Jerk Store
Clint from my Gym:
Why he is a jerk: I recently rejoined my local gym, because I am a fat bastard and if I continue my downward spiral I will be dead before I hit 40. If you follow me on Twitter then you are probably aware that I tend to foursquare my every visit so as to in someway alert others that I do exercise on occasion. Like anyone cares.
Today, while at said gym I was checking into foursquare when I noticed that Clint (actual name) was not only the “mayor” of the location but that he also had recently checked in. I took a look around and found Clint. Typical gym rat. Five foot three. Being louder than necessary as he was wailing on his biceps. Spent 95% of all work out time on his upper body and was trying to making up for his serious lack of stature.
A review of his foursquare account showed that he had a total of 35 mayorships. An impressive feat. He was mayor of all three sister gyms that are available to members and to two GNC stores. Who visits a GNC store more than once a week, let alone two of them? He must drink Muscle Milk on his breakfast cereal.
The rest of the locations were primarily Harrisburg and Lancaster clubs and bars where Clint obviously spends significant time wearing shirts that are a size too small while looking for potential date rape victims. His chin strap facial hair must drive the ladies wild.
As I was leaving, following my exhausting 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, I watched as Clint got into a F-350 truck that was more Bigfoot Monster Truck than any man should feel the need to own. (It looked kind of like this) The truck even had a Superman decal on the tailgate that let you know that the size of his penis was transversely proportional to the size of his truck. This completely fulfilled the douchebag look for Clint.
So Clint, you and your foursquare account can add another location with a mayorship...The Jerk Store.
Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Bearcat
Ha, nice one. I'm not knowledgeable of foursqure, but from this post I am able to glean that the more times you check in somewhere you get a higher ranking. Hmmm. OK.
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