It's Pronounced "Youth in Asia"

                                    

According to the British tabloid, The Sun, Lady GaGa's outfit for a transatlantic flight was so uncomfortable that it brought on the early stages of the potentially deadly deep vein thrombosis. After being advised by the flight crew to change her clothes, GaGa needed their assistance in removing the cumbersome black and yellow tape dress. An airline source said, "She was particularly miffed about ditching her heels. She was wearing them in memory of her friend Alexander (McQueen)." When's the last time flight attendants were that helpful to you on a plane? They would have served the greater good by letting her blow up like Violet Beauregarde.

Least Surprising News of the Day

                                    

According to a New York Post report, Kate Gosselin is being a "total diva" on the set of Dancing with the Stars. Gosselin has been practicing in the basement of her Pennsylvania home, but during her short time in Los Angeles she snubbed other contestants and set herself apart because "she wants to be queen bee." When DSB got in touch with the reality star to ask how this would affect her already limited time with her children, she replied, "Kids?  What kids?"

Celebrity Break-Up Part I

                        

Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes announced through their law firm that they were separating after nearly seven years of marriage. The split came as a surprise to many and was categorized as "entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement". Winslet has now been a part of two failed marriages to British directors. When reached for comment, the Oscar winning actress said that for her next relationship she was turning her attention towards sports and pop culture bloggers. At least that's how I see the scenario playing out in my mind.

Celebrity Break-Up Part II: Fat Ass Strikes Again

                                    

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy finally confirmed the long rumored reports of their uncoupling. The Ghost Whisperer co-stars clarified their break-up wasn't contentious and vow to remain friends. DSB got in touch with Kennedy to find out why the relationship fell apart and through his agent he shared the reasons, "Jen is a great gal but after a while I got tired of helping her whiteout the leading '1' in the size tags of all her clothes. I realize people go to extremes to become a size 0, but that typically involves crazy diets and fitness regiments. Rarely does it entail altering the tags while stuffing your face full of Ben & Jerry's Brownie Batter ice cream. They'll always be a place in my heart and an indent on the couch where she used to be."

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...