Catastrophies in Coach Speak
Recent comments by Rick Pitino and Roy Williams have equated both personal and professional struggles to catastrophic world events. Here is Pitino's gaffe where he linked getting through the events of 9/11 to coping with his sex scandal. And here's the link to the video of Williams where he compared UNC's recent losing streak with the catastrophe in Haiti.
Here at DSB we broke out our crack investigative team of chain-smoking capuchin monkeys to research other unfortunate slips of the tongue.
Less than one year after a federal building in Oklahoma City was destroyed claiming 168 victims, Texas basketball coach Tom Penders addressed a couple of reporters at the 1996 Big 12 conference tournament. While discussing his previous night's festivities carousing with Oklahoma State head coach Eddie Sutton, he explained, "Sutton was bombed!!! I'm talking Timothy McVeigh bombed!!! He must have had at least 20 Rusty Nails and a dozen Whiskey Sours...that guy can party!!!"
During the 1952 season, Chicago Cardinals' head coach Joe Kuharich was trying to pull his team out of a five game losing streak with some motivating and inspiring words in the locker room. Minutes before a home game against the Eagles, Kuharich delivered the following pregame speech, "Boys...we're gonna sneak up on the Eagles. They're not gonna know what hit them. A surprise attack boys...just like the Japs at Pearl Harbor. Are you ready to give your life for this team? Those kamikaze pilots were and you need to be too." Stunningly, the Cardinals won 28-22...and no one died out on the playing field.
Just 16 days after the Columbine killings, the Colorado Avalanche lost 1-0 in overtime of a crucial playoff game 6 in Los Angeles to the Kings. In his postgame news conference, Avalanche head coach Bob Hartley addressed his team's lack of desire in the overtime period, "Did you watch what I watched? The Kings massacred us out there. Roy was under attack the entire time while they kept firing shot after shot at him. I'm surprised he got out of there alive."
Towards the end of the 1979 NFL season and in a postgame news conference, Ted Marchibroda was discussing the struggles he was having coaching the Baltimore Colts. In speaking about his players' attitude and buy-in to his system, he said "No matter what I do, I can't get these guys to trust me. It's not like I'm Jim Jones or anything. Sure, I'm asking them to drink the Kool-Aid, but it's not going to kill them or anything."
On their way to one of the worst records in MLB history (42-112), Pirates' manager Billy Meyer opened up to some Pittsburgh beat writers in late August of 1952. Meyer went above and beyond in discussing the obvious, "I know we're bad...but it's not like they're building another Auschwitz near the players' exit at Forbes Field. At least I don't think they are."
*** This is my attempt at humor (albeit immature and feeble) and in no way did any of these events take place. I mean the tragic events obviously took place, but not the actions and quotes associated with each coach.
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Posted by Max Power at 2/11/2010 9:00 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Bob Hartley Ted Marchibroda Jim Jones Colorado Avalanche Pearl Harbor Chicago Cardinals Columbine Holocaust Tom Penders Pittsburgh Pirates Jonestown Massacre Oklahoma City bombing Eddie Sutton Billy Meyer Joe Kuharich
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Bob Hartley Ted Marchibroda Jim Jones Colorado Avalanche Pearl Harbor Chicago Cardinals Columbine Holocaust Tom Penders Pittsburgh Pirates Jonestown Massacre Oklahoma City bombing Eddie Sutton Billy Meyer Joe Kuharich
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