Here is the latest in Entertainment News as only DSB can bring you…

Cheated Out of Reality:
                                                
Jake “The Bachelor” Pavelka recently has been doing the rounds on all of the Hollywood reporting shows (Access Hollywood, ET, E! and all those other trashy “news” shows) talking about the scandal on ABC’s hit primetime reality show.   Word leaked early on that contestant Rozlyn Papa had an “inappropriate affair” with a show producer.  Jake “The Bachelor” (who even by pilot standards is incredibly douche-y) in interviews admitted that he felt “cheated on.”  We here at DSB really do understand how he feels.  If I was simultaneously dating 18 women and one of them stepped out on me, I would be royally pissed...but mostly I would be hurt.

In Shirtless News Not Pertaining to Vince Young:
               
Olivia Namath, daughter of Joe Namath, was pulled over in Jupiter, Florida doing 58 in a 50 mph zone shortly there after police found pot in her car.  Olivia is 18 years old with a two year old daughter by a man who has a lengthy police record which includes crystal meth possession and burglary. Olivia’s pot was found in her trunk, which leads me to believe we are not talking about a couple of “roaches.”  When contacted by DSB Joe Namath was surprised and elated by the revelation that he had a daughter.  He was so excited he offered to kiss us. Joe proceeded to make out with the receiver end of his phone for approximately three minutes.

Surprise, Everyone Hates You!
                                
                                                       We feel the same way...

Human Trash Reality Star Tila Tequila was dropped yesterday from a Larry King Live show regarding the late Casey Johnson.  This came as people have started turning on Tila regarding her constant tweeting since the passing of her fiancé on January 4th.  Perez Hilton, Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton, and the Hilton Hotel Corp. CEO have all come out to state that Tila’s public “grieving” and constant twittering is simply self-promotion and that she should be grieving with family and friends.  In response Ms. Tequila stated via twitter (duh) “Why do I tweet so much? Even BEFORE Casey passed away? BECAUSE I HAVE NO FRIENDS! THERE! THE TRUTH COMES OUT! Just pray 4 her please!” In a highly scientific poll conducted by DSB the editors here have learned that 95% of all Americans wish Casey Johnson had taken Ms. Tequila with her.  The other 5% are petitioning the Internet to ban all communication from Tila Tequila.  DSB fully supports this petition.  

Fox Will Give Me Anything:
                                         
Simon Cowell recently announced that this upcoming season of the mega hit singing competition American Idol would be his last as a judge on the show.  Cowell also announced that he would be bringing his UK hit show The X Factor to Fox as both a judge and producer.  Reports put the contract between Fox and Cowell as somewhere north of 140 million dollars.  DSB has received an exclusive copy of Cowell’s super huge deal with Fox and here are some of the more interesting provision of the contract:

Section 13.4 Part C:  Mr. Cowell’s dressing room will have a private bathroom.  It must not have toilet paper, it shall be stocked with a stack of one hundred dollar bills.  Mr. Cowell only wipes his ass with money.

Section 32.3 Part D:  Fox Studios will provide a new black V-neck T-shirt before every episode.  These T-shirts should be hand washed by virgins at the shore of the Thames prior to being adorned by Mr. Cowell.  Each shirt must be a large but the labels must be removed and replaced with a “medium” label.  This is very important.

Section 120.5 Part A subsection 3:  Mr. Cowell will be allowed to execute one contestant per show.  The thrill of ending a musical career does not hold the same zing as it used to…Simon must now end a contestant’s life.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Bearcat