DSB Pick 'Em League - Week 11
BearcatBefore we jump into the football picks, a bit of soccer...People can't seem to quit talking about France and Henry cheating their way past the Irish and into the 2010 South African World Cup. People who know nothing about soccer are coming out of the woodwork to say how the game is fixed, how FIFA is screwing over the Irish and are using this as another example of how Americans can never accept The Beautiful Game. What soccer haters will never understand is that controversy like this is exactly what makes soccer the greatest sport on earth. The referee did not see the play. Where he was on the field (not out of position by any stretch) he could not see the play and the assistant referee on the far side would never be either looking for that handling nor can we ever expect the linesman to make that call. Did they blow it? Fuck yeah...they blew it. But the game was not rigged as some are calling it. The idea of playing a game over is stupid to the point that the people that actually think the game should be replayed need to have their mental health examined closely. Henry got away with one on the field but his reputation is forever sullied. France (the better team) got into the Cup and in the end the World Cup will be better for having Henry and the French in competition. The Irish just don't raise the level of play. Soccer fans AND Americans should be happy the French cheated. It's another reason for us to hate them. It is fun to root against the frogs. When this country gets soccer fever this summer, bandwagon fans will remember Henry's handling. From the chicken on their uniforms to their shitty attitude you can't help but love rooting against this team...Now on to the football picks:
San Diego at Denver: What happened to Denver? After starting 6-0 they have dropped three straight games. It was like they started reading too much of their own press. I am not sure that McDaniels has it together enough to pull this team together right now. Denver won the first matchup in San Diego back in week six. I just can't see them sweeping this divisional rivalry especially as the Broncos appear to be on the brink of a tailspin with a rookie coach. Prediction: Chargers 24, Broncos 17
Cincinnati at Oakland: The Bungles are 0-8 lifetime in Oakland. They have never won five straight road games in team history and they are giving 9.5 points on the road after hanging a second loss on the Steelers. This just feels like a trap game and after reading about Cincy fans burning Terrible Towels in the parking lot of Heinz Field last Sunday I can't help but bet against them. Prediction: Raiders 17, Bungles 13
Buffalo at Jacksonville: Hey did you know that New Moon came out this weekend? I hate this movie. Kristen Stewart is not very good looking, Robert Pattinson is a blockhead and their "we are together but we refuse to acknowledge what everyone already knows" attitude is beyond annoying. But Ashley Greene...now that is almost enough reason to watch this tween suckfest. She is so hot, I think she is ready to overtake my holy trinity of hotness: Anne Hathaway, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sorry, JLH you have had a good run but it is time for a new brunette. In doing my internet stalking...um...research of Ms. Greene I learned that she is from Jacksonville. So...Go Jags! Prediction: Jaguars 34, Bills 17
ZJ
Indianapolis at Baltimore (-1): Let me see if I have this straight … the Ravens, coming off a short week in which they were scoreless at halftime against the 1-7 Cleveland Browns on Monday night … and are without Pro Bowl linebacker Terrell Suggs (knee) … and just cut their kicker … are giving a point to the 9-0 Colts, who have won 18 consecutive regular-season games?? Something smells fishy here. WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW, VEGAS?!? Prediction: Colts 24, Ravens 23??
Philadelphia at Chicago (+2.5): True story: the other day at work, an older woman fiddling with her BlackBerry (not a sexual euphemism) got on the elevator with me and said hello. I asked her how her day was going and she responded by rolling her eyes and letting out a huff. Then she explained, “Well, I shouldn’t complain. At least I still have a job,” to which I replied, “Yeah, it could be worse.” Soon after, we reached the 12th floor, the doors opened and she stepped forward to exit the elevator, only to drop her BlackBerry right down the gap between the floor and the elevator car! As I witnessed this amazing event, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped in shock, but I quickly regained my composure and calmly said to her, “Now you can roll your eyes.”
See? That story’s relevant because the phone symbolizes Jay Cutler’s stock. Prediction: Eagles 31, Bears 16
Tennessee at Houston (-3.5): As of Thursday afternoon, this line has swelled to as much as five. That means gamblers people are jumping on the Tennessee Bandwagon (now that sounds like a sexual euphemism, right? “Dude, after lacrosse practice Conor, Trent, Quinn, and I gave this co-ed a Tennessee Bandwagon!”). Led by Chris Johnson (he really needs a nickname) and Shirtless Vince Young, the Titans are rejuvenated. Sadly, the over/under on middle fingers flashed by Bud Adams is only 0.5. Take the under this week. UPSET ALERT!: Titans 27, Texans 23
Max Power
Cleveland at Detroit: In the 2009 race for crappiest game of the year, this one has to be up there. As I noted in TWTWB, this game also features two teams who still don't have cheerleaders. How can I get behind either team if they don't give me something to root for? The Browns simply just suck more...Prediction: Lions 19, Browns 17
Cincinnati at Oakland:I know I'm breaking my own betting rule about avoiding teams that have to fly cross country...but I don't care. After last week's convincing win against the Steelers to run their division record to5-0, I finally have to concede the Bengals are for real. I'm still not buying them as a team to be favored in the playoffs, but against the pathetic Raiders I think they'll be just fine. Especially, since the Raiders just replaced 2007 overall #1 pick JaMarcus Russell with Toledo alumni Bruce Gradkowski who has a 3-9 record as an NFL starter in stints with Cleveland and Tampa Bay. Carson Palmer's brother could win this game under center...and considering he's the Cincy backup, I'm sure he'll see some time there in this blowout. Prediction: Bengals 38, Raiders 13
Tennessee at Houston: Since owner Bud Adams superseded Jeff Fisher's control and implemented crazy-ass Vince Young as the starter over Kerry Collins, the Titans have put 34 and 41 points on the board in two victories. However, the real star that has made the difference in both contests has been Chris Johnson as he has been freed from sharing carries with LenWhale. The Texans are middle of the pack in run defense and won't stop Johnson, but they'll at least put up more of a fight than Buffalo or San Francisco did. And Matt Schaub will feast on the porous Titans' pass defense...expect a huge game from Andre Johnson. Prediction: Texans 34, Titans 24
Mrs. Bearcat
Picks: Packers, Steelers, Vikings
Non-football pick of the week: Shaun Sipos of the new Melrose Place. Hot Hot Hot.
Current Standings & Picks
|
| Team 1 | Team 2 | Team 3 |
Spintrick | 23-7 | Arizona | Cincinnati | Pittsburgh |
Donnie Douche' | 21-9 | Philadelphia | Indianapolis | San Diego |
Bearcat | 21-9 | San Diego | Oakland | Jacksonville |
Max Power | 20-10 | Detroit | Cincinnati | Houston |
ZJ | 19-11 | Philadelphia | Tennessee | Indianapolis |
The Captain | 19-11 | Pittsburgh | Minnesota | San Diego |
Mrs. Bearcat | 18-12 | Minnesota | Green Bay | Pittsburgh |
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
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