Since you’ve been clamoring for it, once a week I may put up a short, work-related post from the restroom at my place of employment. Enjoy.

                   

How do you decide which urinal to engage? What’s your criteria? For example, in a restroom with three urinals, it’s common knowledge to take one of the ends and stare straight ahead. But what if (like my workplace) you’re in a two-urinal system? Do you know what to look for in a two-urinal room? Assuming both urinals are unoccupied, here are some handy tips to help you select the right urinal for you: 

1. During your approach, take a quick, sweeping look. You should be able to compare condition and cleanliness between the two and make a swift--yet tentative--determination. Consider: is one missing a urinal cake? Take the other urinal. Is one urinal constantly running? Take the other urinal.
2. Before you step up to the porcelain plate, check out the batter’s box. Is there a lot of splashback at your feet? If so, this could signal one of three things: a.) poor urinal design, b.) subpar urinal cake placement, or c.) human error. If it’s a or b, there’s likely nothing you can do about it, unless you have the ability to move the cake with the force of your stream. If that’s the case, however, that’s an imprecise exercise at best and likely to make you a victim of your own friendly fire. If the answer is c, take the other urinal rather than straddle the puddle.
3. Note the flush handle. If it’s an automatic flush, you’re golden (tee hee!). If it’s a manual flush, inspect the handle for loose detritus. If you find that it’s wet or in contact with stray pubes, you are permitted to forgo the flush altogether. But what if there is no physical evidence, yet you just don’t trust what’s been on/around that handle? According to the rule book, the “urinator may elect to utilize the foot flush” (Rule 5.03b). This is so much easier accomplished at a toilet, but if you want to give it a go at the urinal, by all means you have that right.

And there you have it. These should be your primary considerations in urinal selection. I just want to remind everyone to be aware of any wild flush-splash … remember, it’s not a water park in there, so give yourself a little room before flushing.