Posts from the John
Since you’ve been clamoring for it, once a week I may put up a short, work-related post from the restroom at my place of employment. Enjoy.
I’ve always wanted to work in one of those cool, modern office buildings where people skateboard down the hall for a cup of Starbucks, the boss takes the whole office out for skydiving trips, and there’s an unofficial mascot such as a bulldog making daily rounds. Unfortunately for me, the building that houses my workplace is old. Too old to be cool like that. The other day I was wondering to myself just how old my office building is, but I’m far too lazy to do any investigative research.
So I’ve found one of the best ways to determine the age of a building is to examine the placement of the fixtures in the bathrooms; my theory is: the closer the fixtures, the older the building. Back in the old days, nobody had any goddamn personal space, and everything was just crammed in as close as possible. Case in point - the building I work in has restrooms with urinals that are approximately half-an-inch apart, which leads me to believe the building dates back to the 1870s. I’m surprised the builders just didn’t go with one long, wooden trough in there, and maybe leave a bale of hay in the corner just to complete the effect. Anyway, it’s only a two-urinal set-up, so if one urinal is being used, you’re forced to either grab a stall or wedge yourself in there like a pair of AA batteries. No two grown men can stand next to each other in there; at least, not with any sort of dignity. It’s uncomfortably close quarters; after all, you don’t want to rub shoulders with another man while the mascot’s making the rounds, y’know?
ZJ
I’ve always wanted to work in one of those cool, modern office buildings where people skateboard down the hall for a cup of Starbucks, the boss takes the whole office out for skydiving trips, and there’s an unofficial mascot such as a bulldog making daily rounds. Unfortunately for me, the building that houses my workplace is old. Too old to be cool like that. The other day I was wondering to myself just how old my office building is, but I’m far too lazy to do any investigative research.
So I’ve found one of the best ways to determine the age of a building is to examine the placement of the fixtures in the bathrooms; my theory is: the closer the fixtures, the older the building. Back in the old days, nobody had any goddamn personal space, and everything was just crammed in as close as possible. Case in point - the building I work in has restrooms with urinals that are approximately half-an-inch apart, which leads me to believe the building dates back to the 1870s. I’m surprised the builders just didn’t go with one long, wooden trough in there, and maybe leave a bale of hay in the corner just to complete the effect. Anyway, it’s only a two-urinal set-up, so if one urinal is being used, you’re forced to either grab a stall or wedge yourself in there like a pair of AA batteries. No two grown men can stand next to each other in there; at least, not with any sort of dignity. It’s uncomfortably close quarters; after all, you don’t want to rub shoulders with another man while the mascot’s making the rounds, y’know?
ZJ
awesome!!!
Reply to this