The Jerk Store...
Morgan Freeman:
He picked this up for his step-grand-daughter... as a wedding present.
Why he is a jerk... It came out this week that the preeminent cinematic father figure has made plans to marry his 27 year old step-granddaughter. Freeman is 72. I am going to ask you to reread the last two sentences. *waiting for you to reread* Thank you. I really don't even know where to start on this one. My opinion of Freeman has been basically shattered by this Woody Allen-like move. The age disparity is one thing... he is not only old enough to be her grandfather, he actually is. His fatherly sounding voice and calming demeanor will now look like just an act after this strange move. His roles as Red in Shawshank Redemption, Sgt. Rawlins in Glory and especially his role in Gone Baby Gone will never look the same to me. He has taken his image and trashed it. Nice move, dumb ass. Can he even get it up any more to actually enjoy this 27 year old grandchild he is about to take to the wedding bed? I am totally freaked out by that last sentence... After doing close to 150 movies his reputation in my eyes will first and foremost be the fact that he is just a Jerk that decided to marry his step-granddaughter.
Dallas Cowboy Fans:
Why they are Jerks: These fanatic followers of America's Team have been Jerk Store members for years but only this week are getting official admission. Why now you ask? While listening to AM sports radio on the afternoon drive at least three Big D fans called in to say that Romo dumping Jessica Simpson meant you could punch their card for the NFL playoffs. With Romo dumping Jessica, the curse on his short career was now over and he was free to throw 40+ TDs this season and sling the ball for at least 6,000 yards. They truly believe this. It was not Romo's knack for December meltdowns or his yips during big games...it was Jessica's fault that the locker room was in full revolt. It was not that Jerry Jones bringing the circus to the sidelines ever fourth quarter because he can't stay in the owners box. It was Jessica and her pink Romo jersey. If you listen to them, then I'm sorry to tell you this way but the Giants, Eagles, and Redskins can pack it in now and start preparing for the 2010 season.
Stacey Anvarinia:
These are actually both the same thing...
Why she is a jerk: Meet Stacey Anvarinia... before today you probably did not know the 26 year old North Dakota woman. Stacy is facing a child neglect charge for allegedly breast-feeding while drunk, according to court records. Anvarinia pleaded not guilty to the criminal count, which stemmed from a police visit to her home in February. While responding to a domestic disturbance call, Grand Forks Police Department officers watched as an “extremely intoxicated” Anvarinia “began breast feeding her infant in front of us,” according to an incident report. The police figured that with the mother as trashed as she was, she was obviously delivering the baby a White Russian via mammary for dinner that night and arrested her for child neglect. Given the story and the nature of the incident it seems pretty clear that Ms. Anvarinia is unfit to be a mother and would rather be downing Colt 45s than caring for her infant. Clearly Jerk Store admission worthy.
A new addition...From time to time I will give a listing of other Jerk Store members who's entry is obvious and does not require a full rundown. As such today I give you the
Jerk Store Quick Hits
Graduates of Harvard University. The over/under on a Harvard prick dropping his/her Harvard attendance into a conversation. Six seconds. (Bet the under) Picture is from the Harvard University Store... seriously you can't make a picture like that up.
Scrappy Doo
The guy who pisses in the middle urinal of three urinal bathroom (also your father is a Jerk for being a failure and not teaching you how to use a men's room)
The entire staff of Rolling Stone magazine (This magazine has sucked ass for three decades... why will it not die?)
Fans of the Boston Red Sox
Jim Koch, brewer of Sam Adams
Pretty much everyone from the Greater Boston Area
Woody Allen (please reference Morgan Freeman)
Chris Berman (Just ask Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Bearcat
He picked this up for his step-grand-daughter... as a wedding present.
Why he is a jerk... It came out this week that the preeminent cinematic father figure has made plans to marry his 27 year old step-granddaughter. Freeman is 72. I am going to ask you to reread the last two sentences. *waiting for you to reread* Thank you. I really don't even know where to start on this one. My opinion of Freeman has been basically shattered by this Woody Allen-like move. The age disparity is one thing... he is not only old enough to be her grandfather, he actually is. His fatherly sounding voice and calming demeanor will now look like just an act after this strange move. His roles as Red in Shawshank Redemption, Sgt. Rawlins in Glory and especially his role in Gone Baby Gone will never look the same to me. He has taken his image and trashed it. Nice move, dumb ass. Can he even get it up any more to actually enjoy this 27 year old grandchild he is about to take to the wedding bed? I am totally freaked out by that last sentence... After doing close to 150 movies his reputation in my eyes will first and foremost be the fact that he is just a Jerk that decided to marry his step-granddaughter.
Dallas Cowboy Fans:
Why they are Jerks: These fanatic followers of America's Team have been Jerk Store members for years but only this week are getting official admission. Why now you ask? While listening to AM sports radio on the afternoon drive at least three Big D fans called in to say that Romo dumping Jessica Simpson meant you could punch their card for the NFL playoffs. With Romo dumping Jessica, the curse on his short career was now over and he was free to throw 40+ TDs this season and sling the ball for at least 6,000 yards. They truly believe this. It was not Romo's knack for December meltdowns or his yips during big games...it was Jessica's fault that the locker room was in full revolt. It was not that Jerry Jones bringing the circus to the sidelines ever fourth quarter because he can't stay in the owners box. It was Jessica and her pink Romo jersey. If you listen to them, then I'm sorry to tell you this way but the Giants, Eagles, and Redskins can pack it in now and start preparing for the 2010 season.
Stacey Anvarinia:
These are actually both the same thing...
Why she is a jerk: Meet Stacey Anvarinia... before today you probably did not know the 26 year old North Dakota woman. Stacy is facing a child neglect charge for allegedly breast-feeding while drunk, according to court records. Anvarinia pleaded not guilty to the criminal count, which stemmed from a police visit to her home in February. While responding to a domestic disturbance call, Grand Forks Police Department officers watched as an “extremely intoxicated” Anvarinia “began breast feeding her infant in front of us,” according to an incident report. The police figured that with the mother as trashed as she was, she was obviously delivering the baby a White Russian via mammary for dinner that night and arrested her for child neglect. Given the story and the nature of the incident it seems pretty clear that Ms. Anvarinia is unfit to be a mother and would rather be downing Colt 45s than caring for her infant. Clearly Jerk Store admission worthy.
A new addition...From time to time I will give a listing of other Jerk Store members who's entry is obvious and does not require a full rundown. As such today I give you the
Jerk Store Quick Hits
Graduates of Harvard University. The over/under on a Harvard prick dropping his/her Harvard attendance into a conversation. Six seconds. (Bet the under) Picture is from the Harvard University Store... seriously you can't make a picture like that up.
Scrappy Doo
The guy who pisses in the middle urinal of three urinal bathroom (also your father is a Jerk for being a failure and not teaching you how to use a men's room)
The entire staff of Rolling Stone magazine (This magazine has sucked ass for three decades... why will it not die?)
Fans of the Boston Red Sox
Jim Koch, brewer of Sam Adams
Pretty much everyone from the Greater Boston Area
Woody Allen (please reference Morgan Freeman)
Chris Berman (Just ask Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...
Bearcat
Posted by Bearcat at 7/15/2009 8:53 AM 
Categories: Jerk Store
Tags: Boston Chris Berman Rolling Stone Scrappy Doo Sam Adams Harvard Criminals Dallas Cowboy Fans Morgan Freeman Red Sox Woody Allen
Categories: Jerk Store
Tags: Boston Chris Berman Rolling Stone Scrappy Doo Sam Adams Harvard Criminals Dallas Cowboy Fans Morgan Freeman Red Sox Woody Allen
Hey I know this is late but can we add Phil Fulmer to this list. Apparently he did such a great job developing kids into young man SEE Donte Stallworth (vehicular manslaughter) and Travis Henry (3 yrs for financing a drug ring that moved cocaine between Colorado and Montana) to name only a few...being a Tennessee fan I would not have cared but if your getting outstanding high school athletes and are only caring about winning then for peeps sake become USC and win multiple tittles and not 1 after the best QB to play college ball in 2 decades leaves.
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