Mets Outfielder Carlos Beltran
Why he is a Jerk...Last week after getting beat by your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates in three straight games to complete the sweep, Beltran stated that he was embarrassed by his team’s performance.  It was kind of a ridiculous statement. The Pirates are not a great baseball team by any stretch of the imagination but this is still Major League Baseball and any team can sweep any other team over three straight games.  Also the last time I checked, the New York Mets were still the New York Mets and should not be embarrassed to lose to anyone.  After Beltran's statement was shared with members of the Pirates the response was predictable.  Unfortunately, the Mets will be coming to Pittsburgh for just one more game this season.  Because I would love to see Snell put a 96+ mph heater in Carlos' ear hole.  That's what this jerk deserves.


Brett Favre

Why he is a Jerk…A quick search of Google’s news site shows that between June 7^th and June 8^th there were over 250 separate news articles posted regarding Brett’s return to football via the Minnesota Vikings.  Why the up tick now?  Favre had surgery on his throwing arm in May and has possibly on the sly provided information on this surgery to the Vikes.  Brett has been swirling the bowl of the Jerk Store for so long that he practically owns the place.  Let’s recap just the current offseason because I don’t want this to be a Simmons-esque 50,000+ words…  First he had his agent call the Jets multiple times before the NFL Draft, informing them that if the Jets intended to draft a quarterback that Mr. Favre would appreciate his release. When it became certain that the Jets were targeting a QB, Brett took time out of his busy day of working the land to contact the Jets himself and seek his release.  If I were the Jets I would have informed him that we had no intention of releasing him and that if he wished to play football he would be more than welcome to strap on his pads and play for the J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS!  But the Jets management are a bunch of girls and gave Brett what he wanted.  Next ESPN inserted Rachel Nichols up Brett’s ass for a couple days during the first week of May after rumors started circulating that Brett was going to meet with Vikings management. But being the diligent and effective media whore he is Brett killed the story after the Manny Ramirez 50 game PED suspension sucked all the oxygen out of the sports universe.  He is not going to share the spotlight with a story like that.  So we take a couple weeks off and now the beginning of June has arrived and after the NBA and NHL playoffs are decided we will see Brett Favre do what Brett Favre does best.  Make everyone talk about Brett Favre.  Congratulations Vikings fans you have the unholy trinity of Rosenfels, Jackson and Favre going into training camp.  You have got to love what Childress has done with this team.  He has assembled the most INT prone set of quarterbacks the world will ever know.

But back to Favre, this media whore will do anything to stay in the spotlight.  He will say anything and he will do anything to make sure that not one God-damn minute of any NFL season or off-season can occur without the mentioning of his name.  Enjoy being vilified in Green Bay.  I hope it’s worth it, you big jerk.

People that are still trying to figure out the switch to digital TV

Why they are Jerks...You live in the fucking Stone Age.  Ok, you don’t have cable.  I hate cable too, its too expensive, 93.7% of the channels suck, Comcast is evil…I get it.  I shell out the money because I can’t live without it. It’s like heroin delivered via copper wire directly into my home and sent on a beam of light from that black box into my eyeballs.   You don’t want a dish because they look gay hanging there off your front porch.  Dish sucks too.  I understand that.  But the Feds decided 8 years ago in 2001 that analog would be replaced with a new stronger and denser high definition signal for TV over the airways.  These Johnny-come-lately assholes were even given a credit (40 bucks!) from the government to upgrade to a new set of rabbit ears but failed to address the change in signal to the point where adoption became a problem and the FCC was forced to push the transition date from February (the day following the Super Bowl actually) to next week, June 12.  The government was actually giving people money so that they could continue to watch their TVs after the transition. Yet people wonder why we have a multi-trillion dollar deficit. We are giving people 40 dollars to go buy a new set of rabbit ears and they failed to adopt in sufficient numbers so we had to push back a transition date set 8 years earlier.  Does this not drive you crazy?  Network TV stations have been running multiple ads during local news broadcasts for nearly two years, over the past six months there have been multiple news pieces about the transition and on cable TV stations the FCC has bought airtime to explain the process.  But I am sure next week the local TV news will feature a slew of people being interviewed in muumuus through their screen doors bitching about the loss of a TV signal and how no one told them.  We should exile these people from this country.  It’s the only way to save the nation and maybe our species… we can’t allow these people to remain a drain on our society.  Join with me in this fight.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball....
Bearcat