Denise Richards:

Why she is a Jerk:  This 38 year old reestablished her jerkitude this past week by appearing at Wrigley Field to utterly destroy the traditional seventh inning singing of  "Take Me Out To The Ball Game". (see video below) But this woman has been loitering around the Jerk Store for years now.  We here at DSB are thankful for her appearance in Wild Things.  It was hot.  But the only talents she ever had were the two on her chest.  Fantastic rack.  Fantasitcally terrible actress.  Unless her clothes were coming off she was intolerable on the screen. But needless to say this woman during the late 90's was a top ten on every red blooded American males hottest list.  But after she got ridden hard and put away wet by Charlie Sheen she is just looking haggardly.   This woman after getting tossed aside by lifelong playboy Sheen, Richards claimed that his erratic behavior, addiction to prostitutes, porn and booze ruined their marriage.  No Shit!  Charlie Sheen likes to party?  He failed to settle down and become a family man.  I'm stunned.  Somehow Richards was able to spin her "tragic" divorce from Hollywood's most famous playboy into a E! reality show Denise Richards: It's Complicated This show was terrible by both reality TV and E! standards; an impressive combo.  So with this former hottie's looks fading faster than the Pittsburgh Pirates in May why exactly is she singing (if you can call it that) in Wrigley.  How much do you think her publicist paid the Cubbies to get her in the booth?  $5,000...$10,000? 



Moving on...

People that call Swine Flu by its scientific name (N1H1)

Why they are Jerks:  Two groups who obviously are way too fucking sensitive, the Mexican government and Pig Farmers pleaded with the media and the Federal government to instead of using the term Swine Flu to use the term N1H1 (which really rolls of the tongue) when referring to the latest epidemic of media hype.  Why the change?  Pig Farmers were concerned that potential pork purchasers would pick and prepare poulty for the dinner table.  Mexico seems to feel they would be associated with swine and only create more negative press for a county that seems to fall further and further into control of drug lords by the week.  Let me make it clear.  The name for this sickness (it is not an epidemic or a pandemic and most likely never will be) is SWINE FLU.  CDC wonks and people in lab coats can call it N1H1... for the general public this is swine flu.  People that call it N1H1 are jerks...

Saudi Arabian Men

Why they are Jerks:  A Saudi court today granted a divorce for an 8 year old girl who had married a 50 year old man. That is not a typo.  She is eight (8) and he is fifty (50).  She was sold into legal pedophile prostitution marriage by her owner father for the kingly sum of about 15,000 dollars.  I have to assume that several goats were also involved in the trade.  In case you were wondering, before this judge granted the divorce two other judges denied it.  Two.  WTF is going on in that sand pit?  Are they drinking the oil?  The Judge in his decision stated that eight was too young but determined that ten (yeah, 10) would have been a reasonable age for marriage. I agree with him... What single digit aged girl has not dreamt about having some sweaty oil barron five times her age bed her on her wedding night someday...and by someday I mean this weekend.  Needless to say all the parties involved in this are HOF Jerks... actually I take that back they are worse.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat