Well the Final Four is set and I have not one single team left in it... I was on top of the world on Thursday and Friday morning. After the Pitt loss I was driving around town looking for a Villanova house so as to throw trash in their yard.  It was a great game; almost certainly the best game of the tourney.  I just wish Pitt could live up the team they should be in these tournaments and quit bailing a round early every year.  The problem with Pitt in the Big Dance is that if they are expected to make the Elite Eight they bail in the Sweet Sixteen, if they are expected to make the Sweet Sixteen they quit in the second round and this year they were expected to make the Final Four by seed and by the teams own words.  Yet Elite Eight is all they could muster.  Frankly, it was not enough for them to get past the Sweet Sixteen for the first time this year.  They needed the Final Four.  You just never know when you will get the chance again.  I am disappointed.  Now the question is who do I root for?  I certainly can't root for either UConn or UNC so that kind of narrows it down.  I am a Hoya fan by birth so Villanova (while respected can not be encouraged) so that leaves me with Michigan State and Tom Izzo.  Not a bad team or coach to get behind... So... Go Spartans.

With that I now introduce this weeks...

Jerk Store

Madonna (The Material Girl)

Why she is a Jerk:
This future HOF Jerk has been at it for years now. Beyond the fake British accent (you're from F'ing Detroit!) I blame her for single handily killing at least eight years of what is a fine film director, Guy Ritchie (trust me without Madge Swept Away does not happen).  Ritchie eventually wised up, got tired of the Kabbalah BS and agreed to a divorce settlement far below value (the price of her shutting-the-hell-up...50 million bucks).  Now we have to watch major news outlets cover the fact that Madonna is attempting to steal adopt another Malawi orphan*.  Madonna like Angelina Jolie has started to collect children like designer hand bags.  I am totally cool with adopting a child, giving them a life beyond the poverty they would have otherwise known and a warm home but Madonna is NOT raising these children...they are being collected, raised by a nanny and within a red bracket wearing religion that prescribes goofy sleep arrangements and to only consume holy water.  Maybe the worst part of this woman is her jerk appearance.  Madge was thee pop sex symbol...now that she is pushing 50 she refuses to go away.  (WTF is with her arms and hands.  This woman appears to be only bone and sinew.  It is fucking gross, quit working out and eat something; you look like a corpse)  Instead of really changing, moving on, or finding a new career, Madonna has just kept cranking out the same tired look, antics and music.  It is time that she just walked out of the spotlight...but as long as she continues to adopt foreign children or dates head case athletes (I'm looking in your direction A-Rod) the press and the tabloids will put her in the headlines.  I just wish she would go away so that we can remember the good parts of her career.

*Late update.  This morning reports are that Madonna was not granded the right to adopt Mercy (that is the baby girls name) by the Mawali court system.  Madonna apparently was not pleased and plans to appeal.

Jennifer Aniston

Why she is a Jerk:

Aniston is 40... Aniston looks great for 40, no doubt, but that now famous GQ cover of her wearing just the tie is more photoshopped than Jar-Jar Binks.  Yet, she is dating John Mayer (31) who should be peddling his white boy quasi-emo panty wetting music/style to the likes of the young Hollywood babes and super models.  But instead I see Aniston and him on the cover of every single grocery store checkout line rag that gets dragged into Chez Bearcat with the milk/bread/eggs.  Mrs. Bearcat has more of a hold on the coming and goings of Aniston and Mayer's on-again-off-again relationship than ESPN has on the Kentucky and Calipari courtship.  Aniston just gets too much press.  People Mag deconstructed Aniston's flub at the Oscars in front of Angelina Jolie with more detail than the Warren Commission breaking down the Zapruder film frame-by-frame.  Us Weekly and Ok Magazine get women to spend millions of dollars with headlines promising insight into Aniston's desire to have children (at least she is not in Malawi looking to pick one out).  Needless to say, I am freaking tired of this Friend.  She has no real prospects in Hollywood for either a decent movie or a TV deal but for some God only knows reason this woman is the 40 something version of the Hollywood IT girl and gets covered like white on rice by the pseudo-press.  She might be a nice person (like I care) in real life but her constant coverage forces me to slap her with the Jerk tag...

HOF JERK

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk:

Why she is a Jerk: This bitch is just way too dedicated to the cause of preventing animal cruelty and deliciousness. So dedicated that, according to her will, you can eat her when she dies.  I am not making this up... and I am 100% certain that she is serious about this.  While the link has been provided I will take the time to save you from providing a click to this garbage.  Basically, this lover of heavy petting zoos has decided that when she dies she wishes: 

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed; (please keep reading... her mental illness only become more apparent)

b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;

c. That in remembrance of the elephant-foot umbrella stands and tiger rugs I saw, as a child, offered for sale by merchants at Connaught Place in Delhi, my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them, as a reminder of the depravity of killing innocent animals, such as elephants, in order that we might use their body parts for household items and decorations; (I could use an new umbrella stand...)

d. That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals in useless and cruel experiments; that the other is to be used as PETA sees fit;

e. That my pointing finger be delivered to Kenneth Feld, owner of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, or to a circus museum to stand as the “Greatest Accusation on Earth” on behalf of the countless elephants, lions, tigers, bears, and other animals who have been kidnapped from their families and removed from their homelands in India, Thailand, Africa, and South America and deprived of all that is natural and pleasant to them, abused, and forced into involuntary servitude for the sake of cheap entertainment; (Cheap entertainment? WTF Have you been to a circus lately?)

f. That my liver be vacuum-packed and shipped, in whole or in part, to France, to there be used in a public appeal to persuade shoppers not to support the vile practice of force-feeding geese and ducks for foie gras;

g. That one of my ears be removed, mounted, and sent to the Canadian Parliament to assist them in hearing, for the first time perhaps, the screams of the seals, bears, raccoons, foxes, and minks bludgeoned, trapped, and sometimes skinned alive for their pelts; that the other ear be removed, preserved, and displayed outside the Deonar abattoir in Mumbai to remind all who do business there that the screams of the cattle who are slaughtered within its walls are heard around the world; (Any readers out there want to mount this woman's ear?)

h. That one of my thumbs be removed, mounted upwards on a plaque, and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, PETA decides has done the most to promote alternatives to the use and abuse of animals in any area of their exploitation; (What a gift... is there a better reward than getting this old bag's preserved thumb?  I don't think so.)

i. That one of my thumbs be mounted in a downward position and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, has gone against the changing tide of societal opinion and frightened and hurt animals in some egregious manner; (I would be totally cool with Ted Nugent getting this award. I at least know he would display it.)

j. That a little part of my heart be buried near the racetrack at Hockenheim, preferably near the Ferrari pits, where Michael Shumacher raced in and won the German Grand Prix; (I think that Ms. Newkirk has officially run out of ideas)

k. That anything else be done with my body that PETA believes will serve to draw attention to and so abate the plight of exploited animals.

I hope you read all of that.  Holy fuck this woman is crazy.  This is a level of dedication that would make most suicide bombers jealous.  I don't know what to say beyond what this woman says in her own words.  Obviously the nude billboard campaigns, the throwing of red paint at women wearing fur coats on Broadway were not enough... Newkirk had to take it a step further and make a complete circus of not only her life but of her death as well.  PETA is a cult.  I am not judging all individuals who have made choices regarding vegetarianism or even vegans (although that is pushing it a little in my book).  Those are personal or philosophical decisions that people have the right to make.  What PETA has become is an anti-human campaign.  Newkirk and her PETA foot soldiers therefore get this week’s HOF Jerk Store induction...

After doing my homework on PETA how can I not include this picture...
 

At least PETA is recruiting hot chicks...

That does it for this week’s Jerk Store.  Please check back in the coming days for new content as we try to bring more frequent updates.  This Saturday you can expect a new Links post with Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten Top Ten and Thing I Thought.

Until then thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…

Bearcat